


Conversation

by TuppingLiberty



Series: As the Universe Wills It - Force Husbands [15]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Demisexuality, Just a discussion, Kinktober 2017, M/M, Orgasm Denial, but not really, demisexual baze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 19:12:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: Seattle AUEarly in their relationship, Baze and Chirrut talk about Baze's demisexuality as he understands (of course, he won't call it that in fic, because he doesn't know the word for it).Talk of sex but not smut.Kinktober Day 11: Orgasm denial (except it's not really orgasm denial, just what came to mind when I thought of it)





	Conversation

**2003**

They were cuddled under a blanket, watching the first two Harry Potter movies for the millionth time, having watched it enough times that Baze didn’t have to explain any of the visuals. Chirrut was wrapped around him, head tucked on his chest, and Baze was running a hand over Chirrut’s back and letting himself drift - not to sleep, but into relaxation. 

It was another cold, wet day outside Chirrut’s place, and Baze had no intention of heading home anytime soon when it was so warm and comfy right here. 

“Is it weird that Snape’s voice gives me a boner? Well, Alan Rickman, I mean,” Chirrut murmured during a vital scene, making Baze laugh a little. 

He looked serious, though, so Baze attempted an answer. “I- yes? Not for you, but yeah, if you’re asking for me? I’d find that weird.” 

Chirrut gazed up at his face. “Fair.” His fingers drew circles over Baze’s sweatshirt, across his chest. “What’s it like? You don’t have to answer,” he added in a rush. 

Baze stroked over Chirrut’s scalp and pressed a kiss to his forehead. They’d been together for over a year, now; had been having sex for a few months. It felt like a weird thing to talk about - with anyone but Chirrut. And they’d talked about it before, a handful of times, mostly Chirrut checking in on Baze, making sure what they were doing wasn’t pushing a boundary. Chirrut had never, after that first time where they'd establishing Baze’s inexperience and limits, just outright  _ asked _ like this. Baze found he didn’t mind, not at all. 

He was kind of hoping to spend a lot more lazy Sundays like this, arms wrapped around Chirrut, movie on for background noise as they murmured to each other and laughed and ate too much junk food. He wasn’t sure if Chirrut would want- want to keep him around, but he hoped, God, how he hoped. 

“I mean, I get it, I think. Why you'd find the voice sexy."

"It's more _interesting_ than sexy, if that makes sense?" Chirrut replied. "Like yours. No, wait. Sorry. Yours is interesting _and_ sexy."

Baze smiled, letting Chirrut feel the smile against his forehead. "Thanks." He thought for a moment. "‘Things that are sexy’ are pounded into all our brains as kids,” he finally said. “It’s not like I can’t identify something or someone as, like, attractive.” 

“Like me,” Chirrut said with a shit-eating grin. 

Baze’s laughter rumbled quietly through his body as he squeezed Chirrut to him. “Yeah, exactly. But - God, Chir, if you could see- sorry.” Baze blanched.  _ Shitshit- _

Chirrut just waved it away. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Still, Baze took a breath and reframed. “It’s just kind of constant, everywhere. The billboards, the commercials during your baseball games, the magazines at the store, the posters for like, every movie. Just, all the time, this barrage of ‘This is sexy!’ so it’d be really silly to claim I don’t know what sexy is.” 

“But?”

Baze paused for a second, running his lips over Chirrut’s forehead, grounding himself there. “I always thought it was because I was gay.”

They’d talked about this before, too. When they knew. When they came out (hadn’t, in the case of Baze, who served in the military and then - then had decided it really wasn't anyone's fucking business). Firsts, first kiss, first boyfriend, first sex - of course, all of those were ‘Chirrut’ for Baze, but Baze didn’t mind hearing about Chirrut’s firsts. He had a way of making the stories hilarious. 

“I used to think that the reason ‘sexy’ didn’t turn me on was because I was gay, and so obviously I’m not going to pop a boner looking at Lara Croft’s triangular tits.” Chirrut snorted against his chest. “But, uh. So when I was like, thirteen, some gay porn just kind of … fell into my lap?”

Chirrut laughed again. “Uh huh. You know. Like porn does.” 

“And I thought I’d feel  _ something, _ but- But. Everything was telling me all about how normal it is for boys my age to masturbate and I just - I just didn’t. I had some wet dreams, some morning wood, you know. But like - if my mind was in control of it? It wasn’t going to happen.” 

“You didn’t masturbate at all?”

“I tried,” Baze said with a shrug.

Chirrut was silent for a moment. “Teenage Chirrut ended up spending half his paychecks on lotion and tissues.”

Baze snorted, rubbing over Chirrut’s back. “Of course you did. That’s normal.” 

“You’re not abnormal!” Chirrut protested, head whipping up and almost clocking Baze in the chin. 

“I mean, I’m not... _ normal _ either.” 

Chirrut tugged at his beard a little. “Fuck that. What’s normal? You seem pretty awesome to me, so if that’s not normal, then I don’t want to be normal.” He found Baze’s hand with his and worked until their pinkies were locked around each other. “Pinky swear me. No being normal.” 

Baze laughed outright, and shook the pinky swear. “No being normal.” 

Chirrut’s fierce eyes seemed to narrow, then he nodded, looking satisfied. “Okay.” He laid his head back down on Baze’s chest. 

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes. 

“I wonder if I could do it,” Chirrut said eventually. 

“What’s that?”

“Just- just not come. Masturbate, sex, whatever. For like - well, you went years, didn’t you - for like a week, maybe.” 

Baze was suddenly glad Chirrut couldn’t see his eyes widen. “You’ve never gone  _ a week _ without getting off?”

Chirrut smirked. “Since I was, like, 12? Yeah, no.” 

“Wow. No judgement but like - okay. I can’t even  _ fathom _ that.” 

Chirrut tapped his chest thoughtfully. “I know it’s not the same, just like- like if you were trying to ‘be blind’ somehow and decided to put a blindfold over your eyes for a week, you still wouldn’t understand my life experience. But, you think I could do it? Give up orgasms for a week?”

Baze just shook his head. “You can do whatever you put your mind to, Chir.” 

“Hey, maybe it’ll help me focus in meditation.” 

“Maybe,” Baze retorted, an indulgent smile gracing his lips as he kissed Chirrut’s forehead again. 

\----------------------------

Chirrut lasted, surprisingly, two whole weeks, before jumping on Baze the minute he was home and dragging him into a mind-blowing kiss. “I wanna come,” he growled in Baze’s ear. “I wanna come with  _ you, _ if you’re feeling like it. But if not, I’m seriously going to go to the bedroom and imagine your gorgeous ass and how lovely you are when I’m inside you-” 

Baze choked out a laugh, hauling Chirrut into his arms more fully and walking them back to Chirrut’s bedroom. “You’re better than all the gay porn in the world,” Baze said before returning the kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! @animalasaysrauer on tumblr


End file.
